Three Girls and Sharp Objects
by EAB
Summary: It's another typical story in which three girls get trapped in a video game world, only this time there are two authors and controller fighting. R&R please.
1. Anything Can Happen With Concussions

Disclaimer: We do not own the characters from Final Fantasy X, we do however own ourselves... I guess.

Evan: I'm going to say this ahead of time to hopefully prevent having to read grammatically incorrect flames from people who seem to think I care if they hate the story.

First of all this story is one of which myself and Aidan are writing, so don't expect the writing to be perfectly even, you're bound to notice different writing styles here and there. Secondly I suggest you do not read this if you hate stories in which the author(s) are characters in the story. Finally, I just want to say this story is written merely for fun.

Aidan: If you want to see how we pictured ourselves in this fic, go to: http/ www. deviantart. com/ view/ 30460362/

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**Anything Can Happen With Concussions**

It was a Wednesday, perhaps one of the slowest days in a school week, and three fifteen year old girls were trudging as slow as they possibly could to their fifth period class. "Should we go to history?" Evan asked sounding rather bored.

"We could skip and go play Final Fantasy instead…" Aidan suggested casually, since history sucked hard core.

"Sounds good to me," said Evan.

"Well you guys are going to have to drag me with you if you want me to come," said Brenna, who didn't like the idea of skipping as much as the other two.

"That can be arranged," said Evan grinning.

"Most definitely," Aidan agreed.

Then simultaneously Evan and Aidan hooked onto each of Brenna's arms and dragged her to the office so they could sign out.

"So all three of you are sick?" asked the secretary skeptically.

"Yes," moaned Aidan, trying to sound sick.

The secretary looked at the other two, who nodded with sad looking faces.

"All right," said the secretary, "how are you going to get home?"

"We can walk…" said Evan slowly.

"So you're not too sick to walk home?"

"No…"

"Fine then."

So they all signed out and skipped through the streets without a care all the way to Aidan's living room.

"Ooohh, the graphics are so pretty!" Brenna exclaimed, wowed by the visuals of FFX.

"It gets better," said Aidan. Evan nodded in agreement. Aidan was currently fighting her way through the crowd of people at the blitz ball stadium in the game. The cinematic began.

"What's with all the water?" Brenna asked.

"It's a blitz ball stadium; it's supposed to have water!" Aidan and Evan shot at her.

"Okay, jeeze, take it easy guys… Are either of you hungry?"

"A little, I guess," said Evan.

"Meh," Aidan shrugged.

"Can I raid your cupboards for a snack Aidan?"

"Do watcha have to."

Brenna finished ogling the cinematic then went to hunt for food.

"Those moth things are weird…" said Evan frowning at the screen.

"Yeah…" said Aidan, concentrating on the game, "You know what I wish?"

"Nope."

"I wish we could be in the game."

"And I wish I could have a turn playing," said Evan, "but we don't always get what we want…"

"I'll give you a turn!" said Aidan as she threw the controller at Evan. The controller hit her square in the forehead.

"Hey!" yelled Evan, "That hurt!" as she flung the controller back at Aidan.

"Ow!"

"What the hey?" said Brenna as she walked in with some chips.

"Controller fight!" cried Aidan pulling out two more controllers, whipping one at Evan and the other at Brenna. Evan threw the controller in her present possession at Aidan, and the three of them were smacked simultaneously, and passed out into darkness.

"Oh god… My he-" whined Evan, suddenly sinking into water.

"Where's my controllers… and why's there so much water in my living room? Maybe.." mumbled Aidan.

"I can't swim!" hollered Brenna.

"What the hell Brenna, you have a po-" Evan managed, before being weighted down into the water once again.

"Yeah, but my pool doesn't have enormous snake things that grab my legs."

"…the controller musta hit a random water pipe, flooding my house, and then a sand truck collided with my house, and then a jungle grew, and then people in yellow pants were working out, and then Tidus came over for a swim… wait, something's wrong here!"

"Tidus?" said Evan, finally getting air.

"Hey, I know him…" said Brenna, "It's that guy from the thing…"

Tidus cocked an eyebrow at them.

Evan and Aidan looked at each other with fascination and suddenly realized where they were.

"Spira!" they shouted together. Brenna looked dumbfounded and tried desperately to tread water. Tidus looked over questioningly.

"So, who are you guys, and where are we-"

"BLITZ BALL!" screamed Aidan, diving into the water. Evan then proceeded to get smacked in the face with a blitz ball.

"Who the hell hit me with that?" Evan boomed in fury. Anyone within reach backed away slowly.

"You!" Evan yelled towards shore, "I'll go…" she lost her balance and fell back into the water again with a splash. Brenna started to laugh at her. Aidan swam over to Tidus.

"You're from Zanarkand!" she said teasingly.

"Who _are_ you?"

"Who aren't I?"

"Aidan, stop playing mind games with the CG person," cried Brenna, who had finally reached shore.

"Ooh, I have a sword… shwing!" grinned Evan, who was still half submerged. At this time, anyone who was still in the water followed Brenna's suit and went to shore.

"The Aurochs!" Aidan exclaimed.

"Who _are_ you!" Tidus yelled in exasperation, still trying to get an answer.

"Aidan!" she yelled back as she proceeded up the beach.

"Laugh at me will you?" Evan asked Brenna as she finally emerged from the water, and brandishing her samurai-type sword.

"Oh crap…" said Brenna.

"Hey, hey! What's goin on, ya?"

"Guys, are you sure we're in Spira and not Jamaica?" Brenna asked, regarding the large man with weird hair and a weirder accent who had just walked up.

"Of course we are," answered Evan, "outrageous costumes, Wakka and Tidus, where else?"

"We could be at an anime convention. I've seen freaks dress up like them you know," stated Brenna, still skeptical of actually being in Spira.

"Can I feel your hair?" asked Aidan, who had sidled up to the blitz captain.

"We're not at an anime convention Brenna, so shut up!" said Evan.

"I'm a social creature…" said Brenna quietly. They both started to laugh. Meanwhile Aidan was still trying to touch Wakka's hair.

"Leave me alone, ya…" Wakka said, seemingly scared. The rest of his team was talking to Tidus. In the midst of all the meetings and confusion, Aidan took the time to point out Brenna's cleavage.

"Dude, you're like, totally hanging out!"

"Well so are you! You've got a band of cloth around them, that's about it!"

"I know, isn't it great?"

"I have shoulder pads like Cloud… times two!" Evan giggled like a little fan-girl. It was indeed true. Evan was garbed in warrior styled clothing, but revealing none the less. With a cropped green tank top, complete with Cloud-esque shoulder pads, and belts she didn't really need (but looked cool anyways) hanging from her hips, she was ready to kick ass with her shiny sword. Brenna was wearing a tight leather corset with many pendants and other necklaces dangling from her neck. Around her waist she had a cape of sorts over shorts. She also sported knee-high boots and an assortment of bracelets on her wrists.

"I look so Goth," she said.

"Hmm… not much has changed there," Aidan replied.

"One to talk, look at yourself." Brenna retorted. At that point in time, Aidan began to sing a song by 'Cake'. Out of the three of them, she was definitely wearing the least… of anything. With a tube top and booty shorts, thigh-high boots, it was definitely something to see. Thankfully, a long coat that fell to the ground covered it all, although one arm was missing, showing off the cropped glove and wrist band on her arm.

"I want a girl with a short skirt, and a lonnng jacket!"


	2. Swimming in Spira

Disclaimer: We do not own the characters from Final Fantasy X, we do however own ourselves... I guess.

Aidan: So this one's a little shorter, so what? It's fun to write none the less. R&R welcome, but not nessissary, enjoy!

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**Swimming in Spira**

After the first initial confusion of finding themselves in Spira, the three girls finally managed to introduce themselves to Tidus, Wakka, and the Aurochs.

"So, you're Brenna, Aidan, and Evan?" Tidus asked, pointing at each girl as he said their name.

"Yup!" The girls chirped in unison. Wakka then put his hands on his hips and decided it was time to get going.

"Alright, follow me ya!" He waved at them to follow. So the four of them did, and they all left the Aurochs and their endless practice behind them.

It didn't take them more than thirty to forty seconds to get to where Wakka was taking them; both Brenna and Tidus were looking puzzled, wondering why they were lead to a dead end. Evan and Aidan were grinning like madmen because they felt like prophets, and Wakka started dialoging exactly like the game intended him to. Evan decided she didn't feel like waiting for Wakka and oh so precarelesly ran and jumped off the cliff into the water.

"WOOOHOOO!" She yelled as she jumped. (At her cottage she went cliff jumping into the lake often, so she couldn't resist doing it.)

"Hey!" Aidan exclaimed, "Wait for me!" She ran after Evan and jumped off, doing a cannon ball while she was at it. Brenna then decided she wasn't going to left out of this and decided to dive off the cliff after the other two. Wakka then proceeded to shove Tidus in, and follow promptly after.

"So, how do you think we got here?" asked Brenna.

"Well… I don't know…" said Evan, "Because it's stupid…"

"What are you talking about!" Brenna questioned yet again, "That's the stupidest answer I've ever heard"

"Stupidest isn't even a word!"

"It is now!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not times infinity to the power of infinity!"

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can!"

"Shut up guys, random battle time!" cried Aidan. Suddenly, they were underwater, staring at a group of metalloid fish.

"I highly question what's going on…" thought Aidan, who couldn't say anything due to the fact that they were underwater.

"Double-you, tee, eff…" a confused Brenna pondered.

"I NEED TO BREATHE!" panicked Evan inwardly.

They watched as the boys beat the crap outta the stupid fish. Once they had surfaced again, Brenna asked,

"Hey, we didn't fight, so why did we need to go underwater?"

"Because Tidus hasn't learned how to switch characters yet." answered Evan calmly, smirking at the aforementioned. They continued to swim until Wakka randomly reached out and started strangling Tidus. Aidan, who had just surfaced from the water, came up in time to see Wakka grab Tidus and say

"I want you-"

"Whoa! You WANT Tidus! That is SO not how the story-line goes!"

"Hey hey! I said 'I want you on our team!"

"Oh, that's better."

Tidus had wriggled himself free by this time and kept his distance… from everyone.

"Anyway," Wakka continued, disregarding the last conversation, "This is my last season with the Aurochs…"

"And you want to go out with a bang, right?" Tidus finished for him.

"Yeah. The tournament's being held in Luca…"

"Where else would it be held?" quirked Evan.

"… And maybe you'll find someone there that you know?"

"Oh, he'll find someone alright…" smiled Aidan, doing a little dance in the water.

"It'll be fun, whaddaya say, ya? Come on, come on!"

Tidus lingered in the water, staring up at the sky for a couple minutes.

"Is he dead?" asked Brenna.

"No, just monologue-ing. He'll do that from time to time," said Evan, slowly sinking due to the armor.

"Yeah, sure." Replied Tidus after a few moments. Then he turned over and began swimming away.

"Um… I've always wondered this… where does he think he's going?" Aidan asked, "I mean, he's never been to this island before, and he's swimming towards a wall of stone… personally, that doesn't make sense."

"Most things don't make sense in this game. Like Seymour for instance…" Evan said, struggling to keep her head above the water by now, "Hey, can we get out of here?"

"Dude, our team is gonna rock, eh?" shouted Wakka, totally ignoring what the girls were talking about.

"… I'm so confused…" Brenna stated. Suddenly, everything turned black.


	3. Holy Crusaders!

Disclaimer: We do not own the characters from Final Fantasy X, we do however own ourselves... I guess.

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**Holy Crusaders!**

"Oh-kay. What was that?" a disoriented Aidan queried, as she found herself, along with the others, walking up a hill, "Where we not just in a water filled ravine with no exit?"

"It wasn't a ravine! It was a double sided cliff." Said Brenna, trying desperately to sound intelligent, even thought she still had no clue as to what was going on. Wakka started on about his childhood love for blitzball, and how he had sucked at it for ten years. The three girls on the other hand, had started their own conversation.

"So how do ya 'spose we're getting home?" Evan asked, admiring the now dry armor.

"I don't know. I hope to hell we don't have to stay to fight any big bosses. They irk me." said Aidan.

"First tell me what-the-hell's going on!" an exasperated Brenna exclaimed, "I really don't understand any of this!"

"You would if this was FFVIII." Evan said with a smirk. Brenna then proceeded to go into a 'Squall-induced drool-fest', as they had come to be known. Aidan and Evan then went into a detailed explanation of where they were and what was happening.

"So, let me get this straight. Blondie over there isn't actually a person, but a dream. And we're supposed to fight a big fish like thing?'

"…Basically." nodded Evan.

"So we have to keep to the story-line as much as possible, for fear of ruining the fate of Spira." finished Aidan.

"Well, we don't HAVE to…" thought Evan.

"Wait, but if we're characters that haven't existed before, and we've already interacted with the main characters, haven't we altered the story-line a bit anyway?" Brenna countered.

"… Basically." nodded Evan. They then turned to find Tidus and Wakka walking down a hill.

"Hey look, it's Nipple Guards!" Aidan exclaimed.

"And his luva!" Evan added.

Brenna laughed; Tidus and Wakka just gave them blank looks.

"Not you!" Said Aidan, "Them!" She said pointing towards Luzzu and Gatta who were running up the hill. They said their best to Tidus and Wakka, and then went back to their tent.

"I know what they're doing…" a mischievous Aidan whispered to the yaoi addicted Brenna.

"Who were those guys?" Tidus asked Wakka.

"Those are Crusaders." He replied.

"Crew-what?"

Seeing as they knew what was happening, well, 2/3 of them, the girls walked on to the village.

"Hey, I like this song!" Aidan exclaimed, and 'Sight of Spira' started playing.

"Obsessive…" whispered Evan.

"They must have killer surround sound here." mused Brenna. Finally, the two men came down to join them.

"We're gonna be havin' lunch at my hut, but it's not gonna be ready for a while. Why don't you guys go introduce yourselves to the temple summoner." Wakka implied, "Oh, wait. You do know the prayer right?" Aidan gasped suddenly.

"What is it?" asked Evan.

"This is where the player chooses a response. Well guess what… THERE IS NO PLAYER! We could be here for-"

"Whoa, that's the basic of the basics…" Wakka said.

"Well… that goes against everything I just said…" said Aidan abashedly.

"Either Wakka doesn't wait for an answer, or something else is going on." Evan said.

"Ha ha, you suck!" giggled Brenna, eager at the chance to point out when the others were wrong. By this time, Wakka had shown Tidus the prayer. He then turned to the girls and said,  
"You know it too, right?"

"We sure do! But it's against our religion." Evan stated with a grin.

"What!" a confused Wakka exclaimed.

"Never mind her… she's cray-zay!" Aidan said, to shut Evan up. Wakka nodded and went off to his tent, forgetting to show them anything, and just wanting to get away. Tidus was staring at his hands, in a kind of retarded ball shape.

"Is he on drugs or what?" Brenna asked, shaking her head.

"Inner monologue, remember?" Evan said, walking towards the Crusaders tent. Aidan had walked up beside Tidus, who was sill staring at his hands.

"Look familiar?" she asked.

"What?"

"It's the blitzball sign for victory."

"How did you…" Tidus trailed off. She patted him on the back,

"I'm psychic."

Once they had all gathered at the lodge, they took their spots, Brenna talking to the lady behind the desk, asking for a room, Evan by the corner, picking at her nails and day dreaming, Aidan beside Luzzu, admiring his golden 'nipple-guards', and Tidus standing beside Gatta.

"You were attacked by Sin, right? Recently, was it not?"

"No." said Evan quietly.

"Meh-bey." said Aidan, putting a finger to her chin.

"Yeah." said Tidus. Luzzu leaned in.

"You're not hiding anything, are you?"

"Only a Mexican foreigner in his pants!" piped Aidan.

"What?"

"Shut up you! No. I'm not." Tidus replied irritably.

"What's a… Mexican foreigner?" the lady behind the desk asked.

"You don't want to know." Brenna said lightly, finishing the topic.

"To tell you the truth, I don't even know what a Crusader is." Tidus said, a bit embarrassed.

"Is Sin's toxin really this bad, sir?" Gatta looked at Luzzu for guidance.

"No, that's just him." Evan said under her breath, not wanting to start another feud.

"It does seem rather bad. Tell him, Gatta." Gatta rose, and put his arm to his chest, in the Crusader fashion. Evan and Aidan followed suit, both smacking their arms a little too hard and producing a loud 'whack' sound… followed shortly by "Owww…" Soon, all three, Evan, Aidan and Gatta, were reciting the Crusader's history.

"Oh, so you're Crusaders too?" asked Luzzu, once the recital was done.

"Not really." Evan replied.

"I'll be anything you want me to be, Luzzu." Aidan grinned with a wink. Luzzu raised an eyebrow at first, then smiled knowingly.

"Ahem!" Gatta cleared his throat loudly, regaining the attention of the room.

"Two hundred years and you haven't defeated Sin?" Tidus exclaimed. Gatta went back into his metaphorical shell at this point, shamed by the truth.

"We've steered it away from towns many times before."

"Well, that's a big accomplishment! You deserve a gold star!" said Evan sarcastically.

"He has two!" whispered Aidan, indicating towards his nipples.

"It's the summoner's job to defeat Sin." replied Luzzu, a bit shaken from the last comment.

"What's a summoner?" Tidus asked quizzically.

"Are you stupid?" Brenna asked rhetorically, "Even I know what that is!"

"We could tell you," Luzzu implied, "but I think it would be better if you found out for yourself. Go to the temple to pray, maybe Yevon will help you regain your memory."

So the four of them made their way out of the tent and towards the temple.

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Aidan: I would like to say on behalf of the authors, no offence was meant towards anyone of Mexican descent... I quite enjoy Mexicans... good food... as for myself, I enjoy saying the word 'nipple', and I don't apologize for that fact. If you were offended by that... _nipple_... 


	4. Hardcore Praying

**Disclaimer**: We are cheap and don't own the characters... or places... or things...

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**Hardcore Praying**

"That's the High summoner Braska! Ten years and we finally receive a statue for our temple…"

They had made it to the temple, and were being informed about the temple's newest statue.

"How exciting," Evan stated sarcastically, looking around the open vastness. Brenna and Tidus on the other hand were listening intently. Aidan was running around, talking to the locals.

"Man, they really don't have anything interesting to say…" she said to Evan, looking at the others.

"Hmm?"

"Well, some just keep repeating themselves, and I asked one of them what the time was, and she kept going on about how bad Sin was."

"Well that's random."

"'Tis true."

Brenna came over to them, having learned her lesson from the temple what's-it-or-other.

"Wow… I didn't know that summoners did that much!"

"It's not that big a deal," said Evan calmly, "Me an Aidan beat giant ugly whale-fish-things all the time!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Tidus, who had come over to join the conversation, asked.

"Talking about giant ugly whale-fish-things, what did you think we were talking about?" Evan repeated. Suddenly, a loud growl was heard erupting from various people's stomachs.

"Fooooood…" they said in unison. With that, they headed back to Wakka's tent for lunch.

"Back already ya?" Wakka asked rhetorically. "Well, s'no time for lunch yet." A resounding groan was heard from the party. Tidus especially.

"Let's eat him." Said Evan. (Referring to Gluttony in FMA.)

"What the fuck?" Aidan cried, slapping Evan in the face, "Don't look at me ever again!" Evan giggled, and then succumbed back into her natural silence.

"Hey, you look tired," Brenna said to Tidus, "Is it okay if we sleep on your mat?"

"Sure thing, ya. You all look bushed." And with that, they lay down, and fell into a deep sleep.

"Well that was fast."

"I'm still tired!"

"…"

"I want food!"

They had all awoken from their sleep, coincidentally, at the exact same time.

"Where's Wakka?" Brenna asked, while looking around trying to find him.

"Must have gone to the temple," Said Evan presumptuously.

"Hey, he left us soup!" Said Aidan happily, "let's eat, then go to the temple!"

So they ate and left. When they got to the temple, they found Wakka and the temple priest in a discussion.

"What's going on?" asked Tidus.

"The apprentice summoner's in there and hasn't come out."

"Well… surprise!" Evan whispered to Aidan. By this time, Tidus had run up the stairs to the cloister of trials.

"So, you're saying that she could die in there?"

"The precepts must be obeyed!"

"… Like I care!" And with that, he ran in.

"Tidus!" Brenna cried, and the girls ran after him.

"And where do you think you're goin'?" Wakka called.

"Uhhh… we're… her guardians!" Evan said hurriedly, pointing at Aidan.

"Um, wha-… Yeah, kneel down and obey suckas!" Aidan stated, confused and bewildered. Brenna opened her mouth, then decided to just go with it. With that they entered the trials.

"God, I love these things, " Aidan excitedly said.

"…I hate them… why?" Evan whined. They had caught up to Tidus, who had been staring at the first blockade, wondering what to do. With Aidan's navigational skills of the cloisters, they were able to fly their way through, picking up a special item along the way. Wakka soon caught up to them easily, what it them having done all the dirty work.

"What's gotten into you, eh?"

"A bunch of Mexican foreigners!" Evan cried, continuing the earlier joke.

"Shut up!" Brenna told her.

"Sorry about that. We, uh, wanted to give Tidus a tour of the trial and he, uh, got a littler over zealous." Aidan said, nudging Tidus in the side with her elbow, making him shake his head vigorously.

"I suppose it's too late now, ya? Man, you three for real?"

"Damn straight." Evan said flatly.

"Whoa, never would've guessed. Hey, maybe you can help out the apprentice summoner?"

"Ffffffffff… yeeeaaahh... about that-" Evan started, but was cut off.

"You see, I only summon when I need to. I prefer to let other summoners take the credit, I'm very modest." Aidan said, trying to cover up their terrible lie. Brenna giggled to herself.

"Oh, okay then." Wakka said, sounding almost disappointed, "Well, we should probably go down there anyway, it's too late to go back now."

They all stepped onto the elevator, as the authors will call it, and went down to the chamber below. As the game would have it, all of Yuna's guardians were presently in the room; the five of them entered. The hymn of the fayth could be heard quite clearly.

"What, didn't think we'd be able to handle it on our own?" a black mage said harshly, rising from her sitting position at the bottom of the stairs.

"Handle what? Some hardcore praying?" Aidan asked incredulously. Evan leaned over to Brenna and whispered:

"She's a bitch… bitch, bitch, bitch!"

"I like her!" Brenna said, admiring the mage already.

Tidus went to say something, but was cut off.

"Who are you?' the mage asked, quite rudely.

"Your mom!" Evan shot at her. Aidan slapped her in the face again. "Wait, I take it back! I'll never do it again!" Evan cried, clutching her face, and continued to mumble to herself afterwards.

"They're a summoner party, they were attacked by Sin." Wakka said desperately, trying to get on her good side (as small as it may be). Tidus had inched his way over to Brenna, and asked:

"So, do you know what's going on?"

"Not particularly, but the oversized blue cat is starting to scare me."

"Heh, you can say that again." Suddenly, the doors to the chamber of the fayth opened, and a bright light exuded from within. Yuna emerged from the chamber, rather awkwardly. After stepping down some of the stairs, she tripped, and were it not for the big kitty, she would've fallen. As she stood, she flicked her hair out of her face, allowing a bead of sweat to drip down her forehead.

"I did it, I've become… A summoner."

"… She worked up a sweat… praying!" Aidan whispered to Evan.

"Well, it was hardcore stuff, remember…"

And with that, they exited the chamber.

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**Aidan**: watch your virgin eyes, there might be a little 'bad language' going on... if you're offended... **_FUCK YOU_**... I'm sorry... not really... Thanks for reading the story. 

**Evan**: I apologize for saying 'your mom'... I hate it... but I couldn't help myself... 'M surry...


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